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With you I always feel like I’m
trying
    to break in the wrong size of shoes.
Sometimes I sit and stew
over how you’re seventeen and
you think I’m a princess
  the trapped-in-a-tower kind
          and how you wear suits and talk about politics
and think you know the world.

My throat interrupts with an affronted gurgling sound
sometimes when I think about you,

  and how
you deal out advice where it just isn’t called for
you quote science-fiction to justify war
and you’re seventeen years old and you think I’m a princess
and you just have no blooming idea.

Darling, one of these days I will tell you my mind
But until then we’ll never fit
                                          right.

In truth
I’m afraid –
that even after that day
  you’ll still be trimmed hedges and high picket fences
when I want a field, open wide.
Do you ever have that friend who seems cool at first, but then it gradually gets to the point where everything they say just makes you think ugh?
Because same haha.

I played around with the indentations in this, which I haven't really done before. I thought it suited the theme of not fitting. I hope it works well.

Thanks for reading!
Feel free to check out my tumblr: songsfornextsummer.tumblr.com
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-17
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh my gosh I totally know that kind of person! It's irritating as hell. :hug: This poem is brilliant!
Reply
:iconeuphoricmadness:
euphoricmadness Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh and I thought the indentations were a very clever idea. Worked well imho. :)
Reply
:iconeuphoricmadness:
euphoricmadness Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Ha, we need to be friends then. It seems I'm so like you & all the people I know seem to be the ones you wrote about.
Reply
:iconkagenokarasu:
KageNoKarasu Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
Yes, I know this feel so very much and we're not even 17.
Reply
:iconilyilaice:
ilyilaice Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
completely agree. i'm an open-minded person and trying to reason with a resolutely close-minded person (lots of my friends, acquaintances) feels like stupidly hitting my head with a brick. i just can't get through to them, and sometimes i just give up trying. that way we can sort of peacefully coexist.
Reply
:icontalonart:
TalonArt Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Student General Artist
Love it!
Reply
:iconxxandi-chanxx:
xxAndi-chaNxx Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Student Writer
This is such a great poem! It relates so well to a situation I'm having to face with a roommate.... Like you said, ugh.
Reply
:iconthe-lighted-soul:
The-Lighted-Soul Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Goodness gracious his is incredibly accurate! I've been dealing with this exact thing lately! Excellent work m'dear!
Reply
:iconnirvanaclaims:
nirvanaclaims Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
;-; wow. beautiful. things to think about this one does give.
Reply
:iconsuperpander:
SuperPander Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
I know the feeling. Personally I may be one of those people. But, at least I regret being born, or at least feel bad for it. If that's any consolation.
Reply
:iconbonfirelights:
bonfirelights Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh no sweetheart, please don't regret being born! I'm sure you're lovely. You have every right to exist. :heart: :hug:
Reply
:iconhell-on-a-stick:
hell-on-a-stick Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Professional Writer
of course it will. what 17 year old ever changed for love?
Reply
:iconlux-ex-machina:
lux-ex-machina Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I think everybody has had that friend. Mine turned out to be a now-ex boyfriend. "Ugh" is right.
Reply
:iconnomnomisbored:
nomnomisbored Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
WOW WOW WOW
it hit a nerve hahaha
Reply
:iconsukibelle:
sukibelle Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
this is so gloriously written and hits all the marks. a much deserved dd, congratulations! :heart:
Reply
:icontherianlight:
therianlight Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Definitely. While I read this, I thought of one of my friends. The indentations fit amazingly for something like this, so I'm glad you played around with them; I don't think the same effect would've been created if you hadn't. :) 
Reply
:iconshekintaeye:
shekintaeye Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
Stop readin my email and so on ...:)
Reply
:icondailybreadcafe:
DailyBreadCafe Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014   Writer
Congrats on the DD! 

I really like this poem. I wasn't sure about the indents at first but when i read the comments i got why you did it and it was a good idea. The only thing i'd like to see more of in this would be some more sound affects. Like i love the repetition of the S sound in 
"size of shoes.
Sometimes I sit and stew
over how you’re seventeen"

but we don't really see it much again. I'd love to hear more. Anyway, congrats! 
Reply
:iconindigodragon456:
IndigoDragon456 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Student General Artist
ooh! no wonder this got a DD! It's a nice piece! *has a weakness for poetry*
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014   General Artist
congratulations on the dd, darling! :huggle: <3
Reply
:iconpixeltwee:
pixeltwee Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes, I have that friend: We grew up together... Too late to get rid of her now ... XD
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :party:
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! :clap:
Reply
:iconxxtheblacksheepxx:
xXTheBlackSheepXx Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Nice job!! I like it, congrats on the DD :)
Reply
:iconxxcandyxx16:
XxcandyxX16 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this poem, it's the best.
And i have a friend like that so i can understand xD
Reply
:iconrobson666:
robson666 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist
congratulations to the well deserved Daily Deviation Clap
Reply
:iconbuttons-and-bicycles:
buttons-and-bicycles Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Student Writer
I love the last two sentences, they make it perfect and really hit home! Well done :)
Reply
:iconnathair77:
Nathair77 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
Excellent, thank you
Reply
:iconeragunzz:
EragunzZ Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Loved it! 
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this - all of it. Wonderful work. :heart:
Reply
:iconbonfirelights:
bonfirelights Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! :hug:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A pleasure! :hug:
Reply
:iconovertsexualized:
overtsexualized Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I've been holding off on reading this the past few days because I knew I'd want to read it over and over. This is great!!

 (and perfectly describes an ex boyfriend)
Reply
:iconbonfirelights:
bonfirelights Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Student General Artist
Haha thank you (: I'm glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconi-am-a-bridgewalker:
i-am-a-bridgewalker Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this is just such a great character-portrait, all presented in oblique images and non-literal descriptors. I feel like I know this person, and I know I've known people like them.

the repetition of "you're seventeen and you think I'm a princess" was great. it enhanced this piece's conversational, almost rambling quality that made it fresh and honest. and the last stanza wrapped it up perfectly.
Reply
:iconbonfirelights:
bonfirelights Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student Writer
:clap: This piece describes so much, so well! I love how you use perceived sound and emotion to emphasize the sheer exasperation the speaker feels toward their male counterpart. The indents provide this poem with a disjointed feel, its effect is ambiguous, however, I personally like it.

Lovely job, I find the final two lines sum the entire piece up rather well. Keep writing! :heart:
Reply
:iconbonfirelights:
bonfirelights Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! (: I'm glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconvfreie:
VFreie Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
Yeah, it happens a lot.

Some nitpicks: "affronted gurgling sound" doesn't really need the tell-tale adjective to express the feeling. There's a small chain of repetitions in the third stanza: "it just isn't called for", "to justify", "you just have no blooming idea" - it jumps to the eye all the more since the poem's pretty short. Lastly, the italics to "war" don't quite add anything to the plain word and come off as a bit distracting.
The indentations, on the other hand, do well with the non-fitting, and the line about the princess of the trapped-in-a-tower kind made me smile: it reminded me of how, in the good ol' times, a lot of princesses would be made honorary colonels of army regiments and proudly get to wear their uniforms too; so much for frail-damsel-in-distress fantasies. :roll:
Reply
:iconbonfirelights:
bonfirelights Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you for the feedback! (:
And wow, I didn't know about that honorary colonel thing. That's quite cool.
Reply
:iconbeyondjen:
BeyondJen Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Those last two lines are brilliant.
Reply
:iconbonfirelights:
bonfirelights Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! c:
Reply
:icondreamerday99:
dreamerday99 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
Beautifully written Clapclap 
Reply
:iconbonfirelights:
bonfirelights Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! <3
Reply
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